Words Unspoken
by tmntfan4eva
Summary: Donnie ran away, now Raph is hurt. He has to get him back home before it's too late. But his insecurities are getting in the way. Not to mention Raph just won't let him be the one at fault. He can never win, even when losing is winning.


**Because yes. The new series has brought a whole new light to Don and Raph's relationship. In the 2003 version they were my least favorite duo, but the way they pick at each other in this version is great. It's surprisingly fitting as well. Better than when Leo and Raph used to fight all the time, especially because it's less serious. Still there haven't been any real moments between them. So I made one myself. I will say though that some of the things I came up with might seem a little off. I hope you like it anyway though.**

**AND IT'S NOT TCEST! Just brotherly bonding. Ok? Ok. Read on.**

Don was more on edge and worked up than he'd been in a long time. They were being hunted and there was nowhere to hide. His breathing was heavy and he was sweating profusely. He honestly didn't think his body could take much more. The only reason it hadn't given out on him already was because of what was at stake. It wasn't just his life that hung in the balance. It was his brother's too.

He may have been driven by adrenaline and his immense desire to save his older brother, but that didn't mean he was any closer to escape. He just couldn't go any faster. His sides ached and his vision blurred terribly. His injuries were really doing a number on him. He needed a place to hide. There was just no way he could run from the foot ninja much longer. This was especially so because of Raph.

Running along he could not attain his top speed. He had his arm around Raph's torso and was pulling him along with much difficulty. He was the largest after all. Not that it was fat, just pure muscle. It was pretty aggravating to say the least. Still, that didn't mean he was going to abandon him. As much as he hated him half the time with the way he picked so mercilessly on him, he loved him all the same. Not to mention he'd just risked his life for him. He'd have to be absolutely heartless to leave him after that display.

His eyes darted all about them as he hurried along. A place to hide, a place to hide, they needed a place to hide! The sound of the foot ninjas' feet pounding against the ground let him know they were growing ever closer. This only made it harder to push on. He had a tendency to panic under such pressing circumstances and he was slowly but surely reaching his limit. This was much more Leo's forte or even Raph's. They each could handle diminishing chances with a cool head, just in different ways. But him? No. Not a chance.

He was starting to feel extremely woozy on top of all this. His panicking was going to his head, and that coupled with his injuries was about to overcome him. As he stumbled, however, he saw it. Don's eyes lit up and a smile twitched at his mouth. "Come on Raph," He breathed, pushing him toward the alley and into the strange concave area within it. It was really small, but it was enough so that even if the foot ninjas wandered into the alley they'd be unlikely to see them.

Raph made incoherent sounds as he was directed toward the hideout. Hid mind was hazy and he was in unimaginable pain. Blood poured from his stomach all the while. He really needed help. He couldn't help himself though. If he wanted to ever see his family again and live to see tomorrow he'd have to trust Donnie to get them there.

Don hushed him. He pressed a finger against his lips and squeezed into the strange concave area. He was very uncomfortable, especially pressed so close to Raph. But there was nothing he could do about it if he really wanted them to be safe. Only once he heard the foot ninjas pass would he be able to move. He was just so afraid for them.

Raph leaned his head back, letting his eyes fall shut. His breathing was heavy, hitching regularly. It hurt so much. That was one of the only thoughts that made it through the haze. The other one was that he was sorry. He wanted to say so too. Don still had his finger against his lips though. As much as he wanted and needed to say this, he didn't want to get them in trouble. He'd caused enough trouble tonight as it was.

Over the span of a few minutes Don heard the foot ninjas come and go. Their steps were loudest for but a moment and in that moment Don felt his heart skip a beat. None of them seemed to even consider turning down the alley they were in and it was the most relieving thing ever. As such he couldn't help but sigh heavily once they were gone.

Raph slowly opened his eyes. They fluttered open to reveal a blurring setting. Don was still pressed up against him despite the fact he was sure the foot ninjas had passed them by at this point. "Donnie…" He whispered hoarsely, looking dully up at his brother.

Donnie snapped to attention. "Oh!" He scooted backward quickly. "Sorry! Was I hurting you!?" His face was contorted with fear and concern. It was a mix of emotions he scarcely remembered ever showing in front of Raph, let alone toward him.

Raph shook his head slowly. He cringed, even his tiny action paining him. "No," He breathed. "Not that." He assured. "I…I wanted to tell you something."

Don's eyes widened noticeably as he watched Raph with serious intrigue. "What?" While most of the time he would brush Raph off, this time was different. Besides, after what Raph had done for him he owed it to him to give him every ounce of his attention.

Raph smiled painfully. "I wanted to say…I'm sorry."

Don started. He stared blankly at Raph. "Sorry…?" He repeated. He frowned deeply. "Why would you be sorry? This," He side glanced. "It's all my fault." He admitted bitterly. "I'm the one who ran off. I should have known better."

Raph smirked through the pain. "You would say that." The faint light in his eyes told Don that he was laughing on the inside. He simply couldn't verbalize it without enduring terrible pain. "You know it's not though." He smiled a little wider.

Don frowned deeply. "It is." There was even the faintest of scowls on his face. It was mostly from annoyance over Raph, despite all he'd done for him, still trying to take all the blame. Maybe he was still a little mad about the way Raph had talked to him earlier, but that was not the issue right now.

In true Raph style, he glowered at Don instead of remaining amused. "I swear if I could move I'd punch you." He growled.

Don didn't doubt he meant it. He wasn't worried though. Like Raph said, he couldn't move. At least not without hurting himself. "Whatever." Don sighed, rolling his eyes. ""It doesn't matter anyway. The important thing is getting you home."

Raph gave Don a perplexed look. "You say that as if it doesn't matter if you go back."

Don snorted. "I didn't mean it that way." A scowl flickered across his face. "But it doesn't." He added absently. His face fell into bitter sadness. He dropped his gaze, feeling a bit ashamed of himself.

A fire lit in Raph's eyes that was so intense it broke through the haze that covered his eyes. For the first time since he'd protected Don the green of his eyes were clear. "Are you kidding me?" His eyes narrowed into thin slits and he glared a hole straight through Don. "Don't tell me you actually believe that crap."

Don peered back up at Raph. He thought he'd be more afraid of him than he was. Really all he felt was a rising anger. "Why not!?" He snapped. He scowled back at Raph. "It's true! Just look at the way you treat me! You don't care what I think or if you hurt my feelings." His voice hitched slightly despite his efforts. As angry as it made him, it hurt ten times more.

The anger slipped from Raph's face. Sadness filled his eyes. "You…you don't really believe that." He grimaced. "…Do you…?" He held his breath. He'd never been so afraid in his life. As much as he picked at Donnie, he still loved the little geek. He hated the thought of his little brother truly believing none of them, especially him, cared. True, his words earlier had shown a colder less considerate side of him, one he wished he could take back, but it had been an accident. He'd been furious with what Don had tried to do, he had let his anger take control. Really he could never wish his brother gone.

Don couldn't hold Raph's gaze. His anger was one thing, but to see such torment in his big brother's eyes was too much. It made him feel extremely guilty. "I don't know." He whispered. He felt hot tears sting his eyes. "I mean, just look at what I did." He reached out and touched Raph's bleeding stomach. The texture sent a shiver up his spine.

Raph cringed slightly. He stifled a groan. He had to for this situation. Raph then lifted a hand and clasped it around Don's wrist. "I told you already." He asserted, a flicker of irritation showing for the briefest of moments before his expression again became sad. "You didn't do this. I chose to jump in the way. I chose to be stupid in order to protect you." He averted his gaze. "More than anything I chose to yell at you earlier and hurt your feelings. It…was all me."

Don sniffled softly. He rubbed at his eyes to try and hide his shame. "Still," He grumbled. "If I was as strong as you or Leo you wouldn't have had to come looking for me or protect me at all." He shook his head slowly. "I'm supposed to be stronger."

Raph frowned deeply. "You are strong." He insisted. "You're just a different kind of strong."

Don scoffed. "That's just another way of saying I'm pathetic." He still refused to look Raph in the eye. He was sure that if he met his gaze he would completely crumble. "You know it. If you weren't out of it from blood loss than you'd say the same thing."

"Is that what you think of me? You think I'm some heartless monster that lives to torment you?" He dared Don to say it. He knew they didn't exactly get along most of the time, but that didn't mean he didn't care. When he got no immediate reply he decided to remind him of something. "We used to be so close. Remember? When we were kids."

Don finally got himself to tear his gaze from the ground and look timidly up at his big brother. He did remember. He nodded slightly. He would almost say they were closer than Raph and Mikey. It was a strange thought considering the way things were now, but it was true.

Raph smiled nostalgically. "Like the time when you were crying, almost like now. It was way worse though. And it was Leo's fault." He grinned. "Leo wasn't as fair or good as he is now."

Don couldn't help but smile too at the memory. Leo had still had a sort of leader inclination, only it was more of a complex. His show had him trying twenty four seven to make them all bend to his whims. That particular day they were all out wandering in the sewers with Leo at the head. They were going to a new spot Leo had found out exploring a few days ago. And the farther they went the more dangerous it seemed to become.

Don didn't want to be 'that guy' and complain, but he was getting seriously jittery. His skin was clammy, his breathing was uneven, and he was shivering as his nerves ate him up on the inside and out. He was about to go insane. So in the end he had to say it, "I-I don't know about this Leo." He timidly said to him.

Leo ignored him. He gave him another chance to change his mind about questioning him.

Don noticed Leo tense and knew instantly what he was saying. He didn't have to actually say anything. Don swallowed hard. He licked his lips carefully and looked tentatively at his other two brothers. They seemed unaffected. Or at the very least they did not acknowledge the brewing conflict. "Leo," He started again, knowing full well the repercussions.

Before it was even all the way out of Don's mouth Leo was in motion. He rounded on Don, his eyes ablaze. "Donnie!" He snapped, jabbing him in the chest with a finger. "What have I told you about questioning me?" He raised a brow. "You don't question the captain!" He reminded.

Don shrank back, stepping into Mikey. He didn't say a word.

"Hey!" Leo snapped his fingers in front of Don's face. "Hey! You don't ignore me either! Always speak when spoken to! Got it!?" He'd only told them all a million times by now.

"Aw, come on Leo." Raph said, coming up from the rear. He stood beside Don, a deep frown setting in on his face. "Give him a break. You know he's a nervous wreck most of the time." Don had so many panic attacks it was hard to forget such a thing.

"Stay out of this Raph." Leo ordered. He scowled darkly at the oldest of his younger brothers. "He's gotta get over it at some point. Otherwise he'll never be a good ninja."

Don bit his lip. "That's not what father says." He spoke up in the tiniest of voices. "He says-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Leo snapped. "Father's not here, so I make the rules." His stare dared any one of them, mostly Don, to defy him. Once silence overtook them for a good minute he gave his next order. "Now! Time to go!" He pointed forward. It wasn't far now.

Raph fell back into line and they walked on for another ten minutes. Every step brought Don closer to the edge of a panic attack. He shuddered terribly no matter what he told himself. At some point he even started making soft incoherent sounds of torment.

Mikey noticed quickly and couldn't help but say something. He knew Leo wouldn't react favorably, but he felt so bad for Donnie. He wanted his youngest big brother to be happy again. "Leo, I think Donnie's freaking out."

Leo looked back out of the corner of his eye. It was true. Their wimpy brother was on the verge of completely losing it. He sighed heavily. "What do you want me to do about it?" He growled. "I'm no doctor. And we're **not** stopping."

Mikey figured as much. He frowned and dropped his eyes to the ground. There was nothing more he could do for Donnie. If he pressed too much then he'd get yelled at too. He knew he could handle that even less than Donnie. He was too weak hearted.

They came to a drop off no more than a minute later. "Alright," Leo turned around swiftly to face his group of followers. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared intently at them. "It's just past this." He nodded back toward the immense gap. It stretched a good ten feet, only a thin walkway connecting the two ends. The worst part was the drop. It went farther than the eye could see.

Don's eyes bulged out of his head. His breathing hitched and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't take it anymore. This was too much. He broke. He sank to his knees and gripped his head as hard as he could. If he had had nails they would have surely drawn blood. His body shook more fiercely than ever and he felt as if walls were closing in around him. It wasn't long before sobs choked him and tears streamed down his face and he began to mumble barely coherent words to make matters even worse.

Leo growled irritably. He glared unpityingly down at his unstable brother. "It's just a little heights." He scoffed. "You can't be that pathetic." He shook his head at Don. "You're even worse than Mikey."

"Hey!" Mikey whined. He scowled with only faint traces of annoyance. He was too tenderhearted to put true aggravation behind his gaze.

Leo gave him a look. "You know it's true." When Don wasn't freaking out he was better than Mikey. They all were. The only thing Mikey excelled at was outrunning them. He was a speed demon.

Mikey stuck his lip out in a pout.

"That's enough Leo!" Raph interjected. He scowled heatedly at the eldest brother. As he continued to hold Leo's gaze he bent down next to Donnie. "Just because your some fearless explorer doesn't mean we all have to be." He tore his gaze away from Leo then to look over Donnie.

Leo snorted in indignation. "That's why I'm the leader." He reminded. Even at this age Raph did not like how Leo held this position. Sure it was only self-proclaimed, but that didn't change the fact it got under Raph's skin on most days.

Raph rolled his eyes. "Only in your head." He said under his breath.

"What!?" Leo's face turned red in anger.

Raph smirked, a soft chuckle passing his lips. "Nothing. Just buzz off for a second, alright?" He scooted around to Don's front. He looked compassionately into Don's eyes. "You ok?" He asked gently.

Don sobbed loudly, unable to talk through them. He didn't respond to Raph in the least. If anything he closed further in on himself. The tears fell harder too despite Raph's gentleness. "H-Heights…f-f-fall…n-no…" He was rocking himself now.

Raph stared sadly at his brother. "Come on," He pressed. He reached out and wiped his thumb across Don's cheek. "It's alright. You don't have to go. You can go back to the lair." There was a moment of hesitation before he added, "I'll go with you if you want."

Leo started. "What!? You're the one that wanted to see this! Are you telling me you'd skip out just because Donnie can't get ahold of himself and is being a big baby?" He scoffed at the idea. "Pathetic."

Raph scowled back up at Leo. "Oh, go die." It was harsh, but he was getting sick of Leo's power tripping. "You can't be a leader if you disregard your followers' feelings. When Donnie's upset, you should be upset too. Otherwise you'll never be anything."

Leo simmered. He growled beneath his breath. Maybe Raph was right, at least a little. A leader without followers wasn't much of a leader. And to have followers you had to treat them fairly. Still, these were his brothers. All he had was being the oldest. If he didn't order them around they'd never obey him. Besides, he was just a kid. He didn't know any other way.

Raph shook his head and returned his attention to Donnie. "Huh? Do you wanna do that?"

Donnie sniffled loudly. His vacant stare had a hint of lucidity to it as Raph coaxed him with promises of getting far away from this horrible place. "P-Please…?" Was his first conscious word. He sounded absolutely pitiful, his tone strained and laced with tears. He was still very much in the midst of a panic attack.

Raph nodded. He started to stand, reaching out and grabbing one of Don's wrists. He pulled his brother up with him, standing taller than him at this age. "Sure." He agreed. "But you gotta stop crying like that. Ninjas don't cry."

Donnie wiped the back of his arm across his face. Of course new tears quickly filled his eyes and slowly trickled down his face. "S-Sorry." He moaned. "I-I guess I-I'm no-not a good n-ninja."

Raph sighed sadly. His frown deepened. "Don't listen to Leo." He hooked his arm through Don's and led him away from the deadly drop. "Let's just go home."

Don leaned his head against Raph's shoulder as they went back to the lair. He sighed in a shuddery breath. They were leaving. At least they were leaving.

"You pansies!" Leo yelled after them. He turned away quickly, in a huff. Mostly he was just hurt that Raph would choose Donnie over him. It was all because of Donnie's stupid panic attacks. At any other moment Raph would have been on his side instead of Don's.

Mikey watched Leo a moment before tentatively speaking, "I'll still go with you." His big blue eyes shined brightly. His mouth curved upward in a genuine smile.

Leo looked like he might yell at Mikey, but in an instant that sentiment fell away. When he turned around his expression was brighter and he was even smiling. "Cool. It'll be lots of fun. And," He looked past Mikey for a moment to make sure the other two were really gone. "I'll try not to boss you around." He tilted his head to the side. "K?"

Mikey nodded with exuberance. "K!"

Raph and Don were far enough away from the other two so that they could no longer look back and see them. Putting this amount of space between them did wonders for Don. It also helped that panic attacks generally didn't last very long.

Raph stopped a minute later. He pulled his arm from Don's and turned to face his little brother. "Better now?" He prompted. He looked hopefully into his brother's brown eyes.

Don nodded. The life was slowly returning to his eyes. Still, pain was etched in every corner of his face. "Thanks, Raph." He managed between sobs. It helped that the sobs were softening now. His tears were also drying. If he were to wipe them away now they probably wouldn't return.

"No problem little brother." He patted him affectionately on the head. "You should try and work on not letting Leo get to you though." He suggested. "Panic attacks like that hurt you more than anyone."

Donnie sniffled, wiping his hand across his nose. "I-I'll try."

"And also, don't be so sad."

Don shrugged. He averted his eyes.

"Come on," Raph grinned. He leaned closer to Don, their faces inches apart. "Smile for me, will ya?" He chuckled softly.

Don couldn't help but comply. A smile broke out across his face and happiness shone in his eyes despite all odds. The tears streaking his face could no longer put a damper on the vibrancy he now put off.

Raph's grin widened. "There ya go." He rubbed Don's head tenderly.

The memory faded and Don's mind returned to the bitter reality. The softness in his eyes reverted to coldness and he scowled away from Raph. "Things were different then." He grumbled. "Leo was like you are now. And I don't have panic attacks. So you don't baby me."

Raph sighed. "We're fifteen. We shouldn't baby each other." His mind flashed to Mikey. They all babied him. Still, he was the youngest as far as maturity. He was more like ten. "Besides, babying doesn't determine how much we care about each other." He half laughed as a thought struck him. "I mean, none of you baby me."

Don wasn't convinced. "It's not the same." He murmured. "You're stronger. You don't put people in danger. You get them out of it."

Raph shook his head. "Donnie, don't be this way." He almost pleaded. He laid his hands on his brother's shoulders. "I pick on you, we all do. But just look at tonight." He waited for Don to look at him. "I risked a lot to save you. Isn't that just as much a sign of love as calming you down from your panic attacks?" He stared hopefully at Don.

"Of course it is." Don finally admitted. He smiled timidly. "I'm sorry." He wiped at his eyes again. "I just…I need to hear it sometimes I guess." Sometimes unspoken words weren't enough.

Raph smiled back. "No better time than when one of us is bleeding to death." He half joked. He hit Don lightly on the side. "Nah, but you should know I don't have to say it. I never had to." His expression became suddenly serious. "Seriously though, take me home. I think I'm about to pass out."

Don snickered. "Sure thing." He stood up, reaching out for Raph the way he remembered Raph doing for him in the past. He helped his big brother stand and wrapped his arm around him to steady him. "Cause…I love you Raph."

Raph smirked. He patted Don awkwardly on the head. "I love you too Donnie."

**So there you have it. I put a lot of my head canons into this one too. 1) Donnie had panic attacks as a kid, something he can control better by now. 2) Leo was a mega control freak as a kid, worse than Raph as far as being mean. 3) Raph and Donnie were unbearably adorable and close as kids. All these things are awesome. Also, I know they are technically all the same age, but they are always delegated ages anyway. Mine is Leo, then Raph, next Donnie, and last Mikey. That seems to be the way a lot of people think of them.**

**And if the events before this story are a little unclear then it's basically this - Raph was really harsh and meaner than just picking at Donnie and Donnie ran off. Raph felt bad and that coupled with the others telling him he was wrong caused him to go after Donnie. Donnie was attacked and was being overpowered so Raph protected him, getting hurt in the process. I hope you got that without me explaining, but in case not there you go. I really just don't want to have to explain it when one of you reviews not understanding.**

**Oh, and a lot of this was inspired by two pictures on deviantart. 'Serious Business' by Lornet gave me the idea for the general pose at the start. You should check it out, and also check out the story that that picture was based on. The other picture was 'Smile for Me, Will Ya?' by kame-cha. It inspired the flashback scene. Most adorable picture ever by the way.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please review! I love constructive criticism! :)**


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